24 February 2012

A Few of My Favorite Things Friday. // No. 005

1. My new favorite unhealthy snack is Nutella and Reese's Pieces. It's so good. It's so unhealthy. I have a jar of it on the shelf next to my bed. I don't recommend you starting a chocolate/hazelnut/peanut butter on a spoon addiction.

2. Texts from my mom. First of all it must be said that I love making fun of Nicholas Cage and his movies. Also the content and grammar in my Mom's texts are always hilarious. This made me laugh for days.

3. I just placed my first order at ModCloth and I'm sooooo excited to get my package. You can expect a Dress Me Up post as soon as I get it. [photo credit.]


This week has been intense and stressful. I've read an entire novel and enough literary theory to fill a binder. I have a Modern Art midterm on Tuesday that I need to study for. I also had an interview for an internship where I'd be developing a website. I'm crossing my fingers that I was impressive and professional (and that my purple hair wasn't too much of a turn off). It's the weekend and I was looking forward to sleeping in, visiting with my cousin and being straight up lazy. Not of that's happening now. Meh. I feel exactly like this kitty.
[photo credit.]

14 February 2012

20 Things I'd Like to Say About...

1. Stop being a "cute couple." Please.
2. Learn to identify the difference between a carnation and a rose.
3. Dressing up today does not increase your chances of having a valentine.
4. It's fine to oppose all of the corporate bullshit of the "holiday" and still want to receive presents.
5. It's perfectly okay to wish you had a special someone today only to be naughty with.
6. Some of the best valentine's days are the ones spent with friends who will actually love you and be there for you when you need someone.
7. February 14th is just another day of the year.
8. If you're not single don't gloat about it.
9. Secretly hate those couples.
10. It's okay to secretly wish you were part of one of those couples.
11. Feelings are gross.
12. Feelings aren't actually gross.
13. Today is one of the few days were any online shopping will not be regrettable. (Until you check you bank statement.)
14. Tomorrow will be a better day. So much chocolate will be on sale.
15. Offer to be everyone and anyone's valentine.
16. Take advantage of anyone you know that has baked or purchased candy to celebrate today.
17. Decorate more!
18. Bring up the origins of said holiday.
19. Tell the people who are important to you that you love them.
20. Happy Valentine's Day!

Chest Cavity

Oh Valentine's Day. Here we are. Old Enemies. I've been broken up with on you, spent you alone and hated everyone who celebrates you. I hate the corporations of pagan holidays. I really do. I'm all for having a fertility festival in which I get whipped with goat hide. It sounds like a good time. If you have someone to spend the day with, enjoy it. If you don't, you can be rightly cynical or just not give a fuck. It's your choice. In my opinion, cynicism is always more fun. [photo credit.]

Enemy of Love

There is love, of course. And then there's life, its enemy. ~ Jean Anouilh

07 February 2012


Today's just been one of those days. I was horribly unprepared for my classes and somehow missed a paper. Ugh. I hate missing assignments and I honestly had no idea that it was due today. No idea. In addition to this, I did not get a part in the play I auditioned for yesterday and I thought I did relatively well. Then the lack of my non-existant love life reared its ugly head with that holiday being on the way and all. It's a bunch of little things but on top of each other it makes everything suck right now.
I hate feeling sorry for my self but sometimes you just have to.
Not all the time.
Sometimes you need to take time for yourself. Acknowledge that things suck. Then move on.
So tonight, I'm doing just that. I'm feeling sorry for myself, staying in bed, ordering sushi and watching Bridget Jones's Diary. (And then something even sappier if I feel the need to cry.) Sometimes things suck and it may seem like nothing is going your way. Be sad. Get over it. And remember how awesome you are.
[photo source]

05 February 2012

20 Things I'd Like To Say About...

1. When texting the person of interest, use correct grammar.
  Do: I like you.
  Don't: i think u fine.
2. When sexting, know that you should just stop.
3. If you're trying to impress someone, dress like it.
4. Acting stupid will only get you the attention of stupid people.
  Don't: "I hate books."
5. Compliments are a sure fire way to anyone's heart.
   Do: "You look beautiful today."
6. If you don't try, you'll never know what could happen.
7. Unless you're an escort, don't do it at work.
8. Be genuine.
9. When said person's parents are around, is the wrong time.
10. Don't be explicit with someone you aren't dating.
   Don't: "Girl-who-I'm-not-dating, I'd like to forcefully insert my $!#@$% into your @#^!#(*^%."
11. Smile.
12. Be a little obvious.
  Do: "I think you're swell."
  Don't: "I'm flirting with you!"
13. Being quirky is endearing, being creepy is... well just that.
  Do: "Aardvark babies are adorable!"
  Don't: "I follow you home from work every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday night."
14. Speak with the person of interest about things they like. Sometimes that means Googling microbiology or Japanese woodblock prints.
15. Listen to what they have to say. Maybe the time you're spending isn't even worth it.
16. Have confidence. If you don't think your worth it neither will he or she.
17. Be spontaneous.
   Do: "I'm going to get some coffee. Do you want to accompany me?"
18. Humor is great for making a good impression on someone and for covering up your own awkwardness.
19. When in a previous described situation, feel free to substitute my awkward wording to sound like a regular person.
20. Don't mention that I give you your flirting advice.
   Do: "I'm awesome all by myself!"
   Don't: "You read Abstract and Obstruct, right? NO? Well that's where I learned to flirt."

How to Abstract and Obstruct Your Valentine's Day

Right now you're probably thinking:
Oh wow! Kristen is so awesome. I bet she's doing something great on Valentine's Day!
To which I will reply:
I'm working on Valentine's Day. I'm covering a shift for one of my co workers. I'm assuming she is going out for dinner with a potential love interest but she also might be sitting in her room sobbing on the 14th. Let's hope the former.
My Valentine's Day will most likely consist of me watching horror movies and eating sushi. I would most likely turn down a date because it will suck and I'd love to hand out these cards to my special someones. Assuming you're like me (a cynic, single, awesome or all of the above) you will enjoy my take on Valentine's Day.

20 Things I'd Like to Say About Flirting
Enemy of Love
Chest Cavity
20 Things I'd Like to Say About Flirting


03 February 2012

A Few of My Favorite Things Friday. // No. 004

1. "Sarcasm: Now Served All Day" Sign. I bought this sign on the street in New York City when I went in December with my family. I love vintage-y looking products especially ones of classy women being sassy so I bought this sign for my dorm room just to let every one know their side of hot, buttered sarcasm is now available at all hours of the day!

2. benefit's Moon Beam. I received this for Christmas and let me tell you, it's a life saver. I, like the average college student, get less than the recommended eight hours of sleep. This product, when placed under your eyes, makes it look like you get enough sleep every night and do things perfectly. No one has to know you're wearing two different socks and spilled coffee on your shoes. It's our little secret.

3. Manicures. I got my nails done today in OPI's Vodka and Caviar. Enough said.

Enjoy your weekend!

Random Occurances on the Internet: Mini Food!

Adorable miniature food sculpture by Shay Aaron