05 February 2012

20 Things I'd Like To Say About...

1. When texting the person of interest, use correct grammar.
  Do: I like you.
  Don't: i think u fine.
2. When sexting, know that you should just stop.
3. If you're trying to impress someone, dress like it.
4. Acting stupid will only get you the attention of stupid people.
  Don't: "I hate books."
5. Compliments are a sure fire way to anyone's heart.
   Do: "You look beautiful today."
6. If you don't try, you'll never know what could happen.
7. Unless you're an escort, don't do it at work.
8. Be genuine.
9. When said person's parents are around, is the wrong time.
10. Don't be explicit with someone you aren't dating.
   Don't: "Girl-who-I'm-not-dating, I'd like to forcefully insert my $!#@$% into your @#^!#(*^%."
11. Smile.
12. Be a little obvious.
  Do: "I think you're swell."
  Don't: "I'm flirting with you!"
13. Being quirky is endearing, being creepy is... well just that.
  Do: "Aardvark babies are adorable!"
  Don't: "I follow you home from work every Tuesday, Thursday and Friday night."
14. Speak with the person of interest about things they like. Sometimes that means Googling microbiology or Japanese woodblock prints.
15. Listen to what they have to say. Maybe the time you're spending isn't even worth it.
16. Have confidence. If you don't think your worth it neither will he or she.
17. Be spontaneous.
   Do: "I'm going to get some coffee. Do you want to accompany me?"
18. Humor is great for making a good impression on someone and for covering up your own awkwardness.
19. When in a previous described situation, feel free to substitute my awkward wording to sound like a regular person.
20. Don't mention that I give you your flirting advice.
   Do: "I'm awesome all by myself!"
   Don't: "You read Abstract and Obstruct, right? NO? Well that's where I learned to flirt."

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